Nine years ago I lost my dad. From that day on my life was crushed and still is and all I wanted to do was die - life with out him I could not think about it. I struggle each day to get up in the morning and start my day.

Three years ago I had a baby girl, needless to say I didn't want a baby, and certainly I didn't want to hear anyone saying I was having a girl. When I was okay about having this baby, I needed a boy because I had to carry on my dad's name. Each night I went to bed talking to my dad and asking him to watch over me. I was so scared. But each night I would get a warm feeling. I can't explain the feeling.

Anyway the day I went to the hospital to have my baby, it was something I would not want to experience anymore in my life. My sister on one side and my husband on the other. All I can remember is talking to my dad telling him not to take me. I really feel as if I was dying. I couldn't breathe the feeling of death was so strong, because before I got pregnant I would ask my dad to take me every night. I could not handle his death, I couldn't even help with the birth of my own baby at times. All of a sudden upon my forehead there was a hand, and in the ear, "You aren't going anywhere" And a baby girl was born!!!! They lay her on my stomach, after wanting a boy so bad and here I had a baby girl!!!

That night after everyone left, I sat in the room just me and my baby girl. I finally realized this was my gift from my dad, something to wake me up each morning, some one who needed me as much has I needed her ... And especially a baby girl! A baby girl to be my best friend! We all have to believe in something... I now know she was my gift from my dad!!!!